Star In The Woods

Ik ben
Samuel Leroy Jackson
Hollywood acteur
You may have seen
My films
You may have heard
My name
Yet the movie game
Of lights and fame
I am not here
To play

After two months training students
Of the dramatic artsIn Amsterdam
The workshops were done
Masterclasses completed
I have migrated south
To warm receptive climes
For there’s a new thing
A fresh plot in my life
I am going to open and run
A Hollywood delicatessen
In the woods beyond the campus
Right here in Tilburg
Two hundred year old proud city
I am honoured, and humble as the honey bee

So please please get a little fat
It is OK to do so
Forgo Albron
I’ll feed you in the woods
Come find me there; I will sustain you

With actorly technique
I’ll entice you to splash out on spices
Take a gamble on inspiring fruit and innovative ices
Regard my rare pears
My princely quince
Come buy come buy
Contemplate my cherry pie
Cranberries, bilberries, tilberries
Taste and try
Taste and try

And as we banter and barter
Across the counter
Help me learn
Your language, your punchy Dutch
Cornflakey crunch that I love so much
There ain’t nothin like it
Russian French Apache – a tongue none can touch

We will have a cultural exchange
Let us all broaden our range

Here’s more food for thought
In the evenings I will not rest from
My day’s labours
I will contribute my share to the Tilburg night
Moonlighting in the Nieuwe Vorst en Paradox
Dancing to the four stages of culture shocks
To techno, jazz, folk, soul and rock
Wearing my iconic beard and Scottish kilt
Lighting the halls with a North American lilt
As I scat a scooby doodle do wop dat

Come to my day life come to my night life
I will show any soul who cares to witness
My ego evolving, true mental fitness
My road leading me
Out of old spotlights
I cater to the city’s appetites
While Tilburg basks in the bicentennial
I will prosper in 2009
And there will be no time for golf or Pilates
In the shade of eiken en beuken
I will run my business
Joggers, dog walkers, students and staff will visit my
Deli of delights, winkel in the Warande where the eight ways
Meet
The star-shaped park will host a star
And I will lay my products upon you
No eenheidsworst
But unity sausage will be
My calling card
It’s a blend of the finest ingredients
I sure as hell guarantee
My 1620 waffles will wow you and
My Samuel Leroy Jackson cakes
Will taste the best